Welcome to the second Lesbian Gamers Podcast episode. In this episode the grrls speak to their pal XanaduGrrl about a multitude of topics.

Who knew gay girl video gaming talk could include marrying Sasha Alexander (Maura Isles in “Rizzoli & Isles”). As well as this non gaming (but still good) chatter, the three grrls talk Ranch Rush 2 on the iPad, finishing the Mass Effect games a multitude of times, Assassin’s Creed, Kinect, Zumba, Entertainment caves and more.

Gay Girls Who Game have been playing with the Xbox Kinect and they’ve got a few reviews of Kinect games, along with Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood and a look into the eye of Kinect to see how Kinect does what it does.

As well as all those reviews there’s also the usual viewer feedback from the previous episode.

Comments for this episode can be left (and will be responded to) here at LesbianGamers.com though the vlog will also appear at AfterEllen. Due to their new region locking of videos can you comment here, this will also ensure we can respond when filming the next episode.

Have a great gaming week!

Note: We have been informed by After Ellen that videos will now be region locked at their site (found out Nov 5 2010) …. “When we put videos into our own player, which is what will soon be happening with all of our vlogs, they are region locked. It’s an unfortunate thing, true of all videos on Elton, Logo, etc. We can’t do anything about it”.

This is why we are now paying for a Vimeo account. Hopefully this will help with all the issues people have tweeted and emailed us about. We are also working at backdating as many vlogs as we can for stable, non region locked viewing. Sorry for any inconvenience, but this should fix it for you.

There have been quite a few tech geeks out there using the Microsoft Xbox Kinect camera for more than just playing games. Some of them have been making some pretty sweet Kinect hacks / mods and these might show us what the Kinect may be capable of in the future. Of special interest is the lightsaber Kinect hack, now that looks awesome, and of course it ties in with a Sony dev this week slating the Kinect and saying the PlayStation Move could do Star Wars way better. This is interesting because it might be a hint that Star Wars is eventually coming to Move. I wouldn’t be so quick to judge the Kinect’s ability to do a lightsaber game, if one of these hacks is anything to go by. Perhaps a lightsaber peripheral could be tracked, how awesome would that be?

Welcome to the first Lesbian Gamers Podcast episode. In this episode the grrls talk about Microsoft’s new motion controller, the Xbox Kinect.

As well as thoughts on the hardware itself there’s a few games reviewed, including “Kinect Adventures”, “Kinect Sports”, “Motion sports: Play For Real”, “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” and of course dancing title “Dance Central”. There’s also something about touching buttons suggestively being way better than pressing too hard, now where else are you going to get that on a video game podcast.

Prepare to get into shape thanks to Ubisoft as “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” attempts to get you squatting, boxing, stretching and panting. If you haven’t already worked it out “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” is a get fit title for Microsoft’s Kinect and the technology it seems is perfect for this sort of ‘game’.

Setting up “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” couldn’t be simpler, when the title begins you stand in the ‘play area’, a virtual space where the Kinect camera can see you and scan you. Yes it actually scans you, so your body shape is the shape you see and it even notes your height. Whilst playing this title I had a stamped tee on and the Kinect camera even managed to pick that up (though it was in reverse onscreen given the mirrored image). Once you’re scanned in and you’ve entered a few extra details, like your age, weight, gender and how often you exercise, you’re good to go.

Get fit in your own living area

“Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” has a great navigation system that works by simply holding your hand over the choices you wish to make and these options are placed off to the side slightly of where you are, so it’s simply a case of barely stretching. There’s no long waits either with secondary options appearing within a second or two, neat stuff.

There are three main modes in “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved”, these are: Personal Training, Gym Games, and Fitness Classes. Each of these modes offer plenty of options, from the easy going Tia Chi style relaxing exercises, up to a full on cardio workout. A nice little addition too is the Gym Games, which are essentially little exercises disguised as mini-games. These consist of things such as punch the blocks, step on the lit areas on the workout mat or do the hoola-hoop. These are good for a light workout and the addition of the fact they’re disguised as games makes them sort of short burst exercises that are fun.

As for actual training there’s plenty to choose from also. Each personal training thing you do features a trainer (male or female, your choice) and a little tutorial before you begin burning those all important calories. Needless to say “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” keeps track of your progress and it also features 1-4 users should others in your household want to give it a try.

Girls can punch and lift weights too!

Aesthetically “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” is a sweet game, sure there’s not a lot going on, it’s all very crisp and clean, but nice touches abound. An example of this is what occurs when you leave the ‘play area’, your onscreen silhouette will sort of dissipate and return into being as you step back into the ‘play area’. A nice touch.

The only real issues I’ve had so far with “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” is though it is incredible at ‘seeing’ you, at times I felt things were ever so slightly out of synch, thus making the task of staying in rhythm with the personal trainer more difficult than it need be. This niggle aside though, “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” is great because it is just you without gimmicks (unless you opt to use small hand-weights as suggested for some exercises).

Cute trainer chick

Female Gamer Angle
Fitness ‘games’ are generally aimed at women (fitness, dieting, beauty etc). Sure guys can play too, there’s a guy on the cover, the copy editor of which needs a kick! This little gem is written on the back, with accompanying images: “Fitness and Yoga For Her” in a nice shade of pinky purple, sitting right next to “Workout For Him” in blue. Yes women aren’t interested in weights and gaining “muscle and strength thanks to workouts designed by fitness experts”, that’s for men! Girls like to train by doing tai chi / yoga styled exercises. Whoever made the box art for this was a moron and this doesn’t help Ubisoft shake the “sexist” moniker a lot of female gamers see them as. That aside you can choose a female trainer if you want so there is female input as far as in game content goes. Seriously though, suggesting women do yoga and men do weights, a bit lame in this day and age, they should have left that off the box altogether, there was no need to even mention gender.

As far as these sorts of titles go “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” actually does a great job both technically and aesthetically. The ‘game’ is easy to get to grips with and there’s enough diversity in the exercises to keep you interested, but herein lay the problem with this title as with all these exercise based titles: They’re only as good as the willpower of the user. If you are looking for a fitness title that uses Kinect though, this may well be one of the best and let’s face it, we can expect a slew if them. It is early days and titles like Dance Central will see you burning energy also if you’re more into ‘gaming’ than full on training.

“Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” features a great user interface and a nice exercise selection, so if you’re looking to get fit in the comfort of your own home, you could do worse.

“Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” gets the Dana Fairbanks L Word rating. Like Dana, “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” is sporty, fit, fun, but still has room for improvement.

Who said women couldn’t be excited by video games? The reaction here shows one of two things, 1. Women – the kind who would go to see Oprah – secretly all harbor a deep love of video games, or 2. people in the Oprah Winfrey show audience will howl and scream at being given anything for free. As you will see Oprah gives her entire audience an Xbox and Kinect.

Check out the reactions below.

Heads up folks, we’ve got the complete listing of all those Xbox 360 Kinect games that will be available on launch. There’s plenty of party / exercise games and strangely only a couple of big franchise names, but when we realize PlayStation Move had 5 games on launch, I suppose having 19 is pretty darn cool. Right, let’s get to it… and no.. there’s no Rizzoli & Isles game, oh well, we can’t have it all. Full Xbox Kinect games list and full presser after the jump.

Yoga, Zumba and dance. A hedgehog, sorcerer and lion cub. Rapids, moguls and race tracks. Microsoft today unveiled 19 ways for you to jump into the action with the final launch line-up of games for Kinect for Xbox 360. Completely free from controllers, Kinect immerses you in dance and fitness, racing and sports, action, adventure and party games, offering something for everyone on your Christmas gift list.

“The line-up of games we are launching along with Kinect delivers an astonishing range of experiences and entertainment which can be enjoyed by everyone,” said Chris Lewis, Vice President of IEB, Microsoft EMEA. “Kinect creates a more natural and responsive experience for people of all interests and skill levels. That’s why we are so excited to offer people something truly unique that exists nowhere else.”

Nineteen Kinect-enabled game titles from the industry’s biggest publishers will debut in November, including “Dance Central” (MTV Games/Harmonix), winner of the Game Critics “Best Original Game” Award at E3 2010. From the minds behind the ground-breaking “Rock Band” franchise, “Dance Central” gets everyone off the couch and onto the dance floor, ushering in a brand new era in music games.

“Dance Central is a first-of-its-kind game that simply wasn’t possible without Kinect,” said Alex Rigopulos, CEO and co-founder of Harmonix Music Systems. “Kinect enabled us to breathe new life into the dance genre with an extraordinary, full-body gameplay experience that anyone can enjoy.”

Family Game Night…With a Kinect Twist
Befriend a playful tiger cub, collect treasures from around the globe, or cast a spell in the wizarding world. Whether adopting a new family pet in “Kinectimals” (Frontier Developments Ltd./Microsoft Game Studios), or embarking on a wet and wild rafting trip in “Kinect Adventures” (Good Science Studio/Microsoft Game Studios), Kinect for Xbox 360 is the one gift the whole family will enjoy this festive season.

“Kinect Adventures” (Good Science Studio/Microsoft Game Studios) – included with every Kinect sensor – 10th November. Float in outer space. Experience the thrill of roaring rapids. Tackle mountaintop obstacle courses. And dive into the deep to save a leaky underwater observatory — all from your living room. With “Kinect Adventures,” you are the controller as you jump, dodge and kick your way through exciting adventures set in a variety of exotic locations. “Kinect Adventures” is designed with something for everyone to enjoy and will be available with every Kinect sensor and Kinect bundle sold.

“Kinectimals” (Frontier Developments Ltd./Microsoft Game Studios) – 10th November. “Kinectimals” invites children, their parents and animal lovers of all ages to build lasting friendships with some of the world’s most exotic creatures. Just like real pets, your feline cubs will come running when they hear your voice, respond to commands such as “jump,” “roll over” and “play dead,” and purr with joy when you scratch them behind their ears. Limited collector’s editions include a 7-inch plush toy that can be scanned into the game to unlock a new collectible cub.

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 The Videogame” (Electronic Arts/EA Bright Light) – 19thNovember. “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 The Videogame” is the most challenging yet, packed from start to finish with action and combat. Playing as Harry, you are on the run from the opening sequence, fighting for survival on a desperate and dangerous quest to locate and destroy Voldemort’s Horcruxes.

“Game Party: In Motion” (Warner Bros. Interactive) –26th November. “ Game Party: In Motion” will take advantage of Kinect for Xbox 360 to make the games totally immersive. All the games are easily accessible to young and old, experienced and casual gamers alike. And since the games are all based on familiar real-life games that virtually everyone has played before, you can get the party started immediately.

Off the Sofa and into the Gym
Kinect gives you all new ways to swing, sweat and step up your workout with a range of dance and fitness games. From martial arts to yoga to a variety of activities in “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” (Ubisoft) to the high-energy rhythm of “Zumba Fitness®” (Majesco), you’ve never had a living room workout like this before.

“Dance Central” (MTV Games/Harmonix) – 10th November. From the creators of “Rock Band” comes the next great music experience: “Dance Central,” the first controller-free, body tracking, fully-immersive dance video game that helps you take your moves to the next level. Featuring over 90 routines and 650 dance moves, every routine has authentic choreography for beginners and experts alike to master, alongside a killer soundtrack that spans today’s current pop, hip-hop and R&B artists. You won’t just learn the dance moves, you’ll own the dance floor.

“Your Shape: Fitness Evolved” (Ubisoft) – 10th November. With Kinect for Xbox 360 and “Your Shape: Fitness Evolved,” you will experience the most advanced fitness technology available, your way and on your schedule. The advanced feedback system detects when your body is out of alignment and coaches you to correct your form. Personalise your workout, challenge your friends, and share your progress while achieving real results.

“The Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout” (THQ) – 10th November. Based on the hit television show, “The Biggest Loser” comes to Kinect offering the ultimate workout experience. Complete your fitness programme using the interactive motion control sensors providing real-time feedback. From a body analyser to recipes, personalised tips and a video diary to track your journey, “The Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout” fitness game has it all to drop the weight and change your life.

“EA SPORTS Active 2” (EA SPORTS) – 19th November. “ EA SPORTS Active 2” with Total Body Tracking will combine motion tracking from Kinect and heart rate data from the included wireless heart rate monitor to provide true fitness results. Users will be able to track and share their workout data online through automatic uploading from their online connected Xbox 360 to their personalised EA SPORTS Active profile.

“Zumba Fitness” (Majesco) – 26th November. Join the party with Zumba Fitness , a one-of-a-kind, dance fitness workout set to sexy, high-energy Latin and international music! Find your rhythm and let go as Zumba instructor fan favourites Gina Grant, Tanya Beardsley and Zumba’s creator Beto guide you through 30 routines that will work you into a sweat and make you forget you’re even exercising.

“Get Fit With Mel B” (Black Bean Games/Lightning Fish) – 26th November. “Get Fit with Mel B” is a comprehensive and energetic customisable workout programme developed in collaboration with Mel B and Fitness First. It is the only fitness title that brings the player inside the game just beside Mel B as your personal trainer! It features 199 exercises spanning from aerobics to box-fit and cardio along with a nutritional programme with 140 recipes tailored for each individual user.

“DanceEvolution” (Konami) – 10th November. KONAMI introduces a brand new way to experience music and rhythm. The next generation in full-body dancing is finally here! DanceEvolution utilises Kinect to give gamers the ultimate dance club right in their living rooms, with no peripherals required! Choose from several different modes and dance freely with no controller to tie you down. Play a wide variety of dance music and challenge up to four of your friends online.

“Dance Paradise” (Mindscape/Smackdown Productions) – 10th November. The idea is simple: everyone can bust a move on Dance Paradise™ thanks to an eclectic playlist and dance sequences designed for all tastes and all levels. The 40 international Hip Hop, Pop, Rock, R&B, Dance tracks will appeal to everyone, from children, parents, fans of classic hits, to even the most die-hard of clubbers, transforming their living room into a dance floor.

Co-op or Compete? The Choice is Yours
Step onto the field with the first generation of sports games that turn your whole body into the controller. Want to play soccer? With Kinect, you use your feet – not your thumbs! Hone your skills solo, or compete with friends at home and afar over Xbox LIVE. Beach volleyball, boxing, skiing and more – Kinect offers something for athletes of every stripe.

“Kinect Sports” (Rare/Microsoft Game Studios) – 10th November. With “Kinect Sports” you’re not only the star player, you are the controller — through the magic of Kinect for Xbox 360. The first full-body, controller-free sports game that lets you physically compete with friends over Xbox LIVE, “Kinect Sports” is so real, you will almost feel the wind in your hair as you fly over hurdles and the sand in your toes as you set, bump and spike your way to volleyball victory.

“MotionSports” (Ubisoft) – 10th November. Grab your friends and rush the living room, it is time to catapult into the wide world of “Motion Sports.” Race down the slopes of a Super G slalom, score a mind-blowing penalty kick, duck-and-run your way to a game-winning touchdown or throw punches at the champ as you test your skills in over 40 awesome sports challenges. Motion Sports live in-game commentary will follow your hits…and misses, as you compete to go from local hero to a global sports phenomenon.

“Sports Island Freedom” (Konami/Hudson Soft) – 26th November UK. “Sports Island Freedom” marks Hudson Soft’s first use of Kinect technology, and boasts ten new sporting events designed especially for the motion-control system. Players will compete in specially-created games of Tennis, Boxing, Archery, Paint Ball, Beach Volleyball, Dodge Ball, Kendo, Mogul Skiing, Snowboard Cross and Figure Skating – each of which enjoys a bespoke control system.

Thrills, Spills and All-Out Action
Get your adrenaline fix with new, controller-free ways to race and rumble. Kinect removes the barrier between you and your games, delivering action and excitement like nothing you’ve experience before.

“Kinect Joy Ride” (Big Park/Microsoft Game Studios) – 10th November. “Kinect Joy Ride,” the first controller-free racing game, will take you and your friends on the ride of your lives — no driver’s license required. “Kinect Joy Ride” combines wild kart racing excitement with the effortless fun of full-body gaming possible only with Kinect for Xbox 360. Go solo, pick up a co-pilot, or compete against up to seven other players over Xbox LIVE to take on the world.

“Fighters Uncaged” (Ubisoft) – 10th November. Charge head first into the vicious world of illegal free fighting tournaments, where you will use every muscle in your body to battle your way to the top. Forced into a secret tournament, Simon must use what he learned from his father, an ex-boxing champ as he faces off against violent combatants who will brutally unleash a range of mixed martial arts attacks to take him down. No guns. No blades. Your body is the deadly weapon.

“SONIC FREE RIDERS” (SEGA) – 10th November. Sonic is speeding onto Kinect for Xbox 360 in an action-packed experience unlike any other. Become your favourite character as you jump on your board and compete in adrenaline-fuelled races against tough competition. For the first time use full-motion body control to twist and turn your way through a range of stunning courses.

“CROSSBOARD 7” (Konami) – 10th November. High-speed Crossboard racing! Control the ride with your own moves and perform cool tricks! Play solo or challenge a friend in heated two-player battles! 7 crazy game modes and 7 worlds to race across! A full body Kinect experience!

Unbelievable Value
Kinect is a gift that awakens the living room all year round with laughter, camaraderie, and the simple joy of new experiences shared with family and friends. The all-in one Xbox 360 Kinect Console Bundle includes the new Xbox 360 4GB console, Kinect Sensor, and “Kinect Adventures,” priced at £249.99 Estimated Retail Price (ERP). Or for those who have an Xbox 360 console at home, the stand-alone Kinect for Xbox 360 priced at £129.99 (ERP) includes the Kinect Sensor and “Kinect Adventures” game and works with the 42 million Xbox 360 consoles currently in homes worldwide.
(UK / EURO PRICING)

Amazing Entertainment
So much more than just games, Kinect brings entertainment to life in magical new ways, offering controller-free TV, movies, music, sports, and connecting family and friends worldwide through video chat in the comfort of the living room. Jump right into a movie in instant-on 1080p HD or thumb through millions of songs from Zune with just a wave of your hand. With cutting-edge experiences for movie buffs, music lovers, sports gurus and gamers alike, Kinect and Xbox 360 bring the living room of the future home this holiday.

So we first saw gaming take a whole new form when the Nintendo Wii hit the shelves back in late 2006 and if you’re anything like me, were blown away by this new piece of gaming technology and what it had to offer. Four years on and the hard working girls and boys of Microsoft showcased their latest most anticipated release of the year, Project natal later re-branded as Kinect.

Kinect is Microsoft’s answer to motion sensing based games without the need for any controllers, but what can you expect from Kinect? Is it just old hat and how does it match up to the Sony release of Playstation move?

Well you can expect a lot from Kinect bringing the active element into video games with the backing of the Xbox 360’s beefy 500MHz Custom ATI graphics processor. With titles lined up such as Your Shape, Dance Central and Sonic Free Riders there is a game for every type of gamer and mood providing you don’t mind moving. Kinect tracks up to 2 “active” players and six people and is compatible with the original Xbox 360 as well as the Kinect ready Slim Xbox 360.

The demonstrations for the Kinect at this year’s E3 expo were far from disappointing, boasting its brilliance and capabilities definitely delivered on all levels. With not only pin point accuracy, phenomenal games and graphics the Kinect has user and voice recognition that can be used to control film playback, Xbox Live profile selection and also video calling.

Microsoft’s Kinect over shadowed all the major players at the expo and left a bitter taste in Sony’s mouth, with there what can only be described as piss poor rip off Nintendo Wii controller with a ball stuck on the end of it and let’s face it I don’t like balls even the ones stuck on the end of a controller.

So all in all will I be purchasing Microsoft’s Kinect ?

“Do lesbians sh*t in the woods?” Er probably… don’t know. I don’t, promise ladies.
What I do know is that I already have my pre-order down for Kinect and I can’t wait!
Kinect goes on sale 10th November 2010 uk release date and comes with Kinect Adventures
Retail price £129.99

Article by
Jayde Draeger

So I was up at an insane 3.30am to take notes from the live Microsoft Xbox 360 presser. I’ve tried to cut the BS and hit it with the important stuff, along with the stuff other sites might not be covering, like female gamer angle and uncomfortable sections. Hope you find it informative! I’ve also sourced as many trailers as I can, in the order they appeared to save you the legwork. Now let’s crack on with the E3 Xbox 360 conference rundown.

Addendum: Miss Anne Thropic of the Vagina Gamerlogues has added her thoughts to each section profanity included so please be aware that I haven’t edited out as such.

First up this was the usual from Microsoft, the bigwigs like Don Mattrick and Phil Spencer are there along with a host of others. Though they cut straight to the meat with a lead in trailer for the rather brilliant looking Call of Duty: Black Ops. This trailer (below) shows you the wealth of gameplay possibilities in the title, but rather than waffle, just watch it as it explains far more than mere words. Treyarch’s Mark Lamia was on stage to ‘demo’ the game:

• Miss Anne Thropic: This looks good, gritty and it has helicopters, I am so f_cking there.

Don Mattrick appears and starts waffling Xbox 360 Kinect and welcomes Hideo Kojima (seems to the the done thing now doesn’t it). He talks Metal Gear Rising. Trailer below:

• Miss Anne Thropic: This is Fruit Ninja with f_cking Metal Gear and Kojima’s name attached, like I am even interested. This is akin to watching a shit film like “Life or Something Like It” just because Angelina Jolie is in it, that doesn’t make it good! (I kinda liked that film .Ed)

Next up after more Microsoft PR waffle, it’s Cliffy B’s time to talk Gears of War 3. Amazingly Cliffy B makes a point of mentioning there will be two female character available in multiplayer “You’re gonna see the female Gears of Anya and Sam”, they then play a demo which speaks for itself:

• Miss Anne Thropic: Raging sexist twat Cliffy B lulls female gamers everywhere into a false sense of multiplayer security by adding in Anya and Sam who most likely won’t appear in the ‘actual’ Gears of War 3 campaign in any kick ass capacity.

As you guessed if you watched that Gears trailer to the end, next up Peter Molyneux takes to the stage, yes it’s time for some Fable 3 love. The game incidentally will ship October 26.

• Miss Anne Thropic: It’s Fable 3, it will be hyped up your jacksy until you can feel it in your throat, it won’t be anywhere near as good as Molyneux says (it already seems to have lost the rumored Natal addition), but none of that will matter because we will love it anyway.

Phil Spencer takes to the stage to announce an all new 360 exclusive in the form of “Codename Kingdoms”. Again, check out the trailer (which is sadly just a live action promo), you might be surprised by this one given it’s the Crytek logo that appears. Keep in mind Crytek were also given the stereoscopic 3D tech earlier this year… hmmm… interesting.

• Miss Anne Thropic: Also keep in mind FarCry was shit, enough said!

Next up it’s time to play the Halo card, yes this one never fails to please the multiplayer fans in the crowd and this E3 is no different. Bungie creative director Marcus Lehto is talking Halo: Reach beta figures and then of course shows the Halo Reach trailer.

• Miss Anne Thropic: Halo 1 run shoot listen to wisecracks. Halo 2 run shoot listen to wisecracks add in multi player. Halo 3 run shoot listen to wisecracks add more multiplayer remove more single player. Halo: ODST trying to block it from mind. Halo: Reach run shoot listen to wisecracks add more multiplayer, take away more single player but add space battles so the fanboys and girls can say how visionary and innovative it is.

After getting over the fact Halo: Reach will feature space combat awesome, it’s onto Xbox Live facts and figures and some Xbox 360 Kinect love. I couldn’t help but wonder when watching these trailers if 1. I want to be waving my arms around and jumping when the Wii and EyeToy afford me this energetic option already (and I don’t often use them), or 2. if these live “demos” are actually all rehearsed to stock footage and not demos at all. That aside, lets get to the Kinect goodness (or badness dependent on your POV:

First up there’s a demo of how the Kinect is voice and movement activated. This is essentially a guy saying “Zune” and it loading that section and being able to play next track by speaking, it’s all fairly innocuous stuff and it seems made for the ultra lazy, though probably fantastic for people with movement disability. I won’t bother sourcing a video, it was that non important.

• Miss Anne Thropic: Sorry I nodded off.

Next up is Laura one of the engineers on the Kinect project and the poor girl seems like she’s been rolled onto the stage because she’s a good looking girl and lord knows girls aren’t interested in games, they want to socialize, so she talks VideoKinect the videochat service. She’s also been chosen because she has a good looking twin sister called Kristen. The whole thing rates as the most uncomfortable part of the conference and both girls are obviously taking part in a poorly rehearsed video chat, it’s fairly awful and to no fault of either really since nerves play huge part and they seem to be reading from a script both have clearly been given.

• Miss Anne Thropic: Can’t wait to see what you write about this, poor f_cking Laura. A prime example of gaming PR trying to be clever and instead coming across as sexist and sloppy. Oh and two words mo fo’s (well one word and a number) iPhone 4.

Heads up sports fans, looks like ESPN is doing big things with Microsoft. If you love sports ESPN have signed an exclusive deal to offer over 3,500 live sporting events over Xbox Live. The important thing, this will be available to Xbox Live Gold members at no additional cost (assuming your broadband provider is thrilled with that of course).

• Miss Anne Thropic: I have a multitude of cable sports channels, but yeah I really want to stream it through my Xbox because it’s ESPN. Not.

Kudo Tsunoda (creative director for Kinect) then enters the stage, looking like he forgot E3 was on, grabbed his sunglasses, threw on the first thing he could find and rushed out the door. He waffles about how Kinect is for everyone and we’re on a run now of Kinect games one after the other, starting with the most adorable demo of the conference with the cutest kid ever as she ‘demos’, pet sim Kinectimals:

• Miss Anne Thropic: Tsunoda always reminds me of Frank Rossitano from 30 Rock, even more so this evening. Kinectimals makes me want to give my eyes a massage with a cocktail fork.

Remember Wii Sports when it came out and what a game changer that was? Well now you’ll get Kinect Sports, which is essentially Wii Sports on acid. soccer, bowling, javelin, ping pong, boxing and volleyball. Trailer below, but it’s not much chop:

• Miss Anne Thropic: EyeToy meets WiiSports with allegedly better control. Who gives a shit.

Kinect Joy Ride is next and I have to say I’m a little disappointed this is a Kinect game, but meh, maybe it will be fun. The “demo” again seems a little rehearsed, but who knows. This demo also brought forth the question, aren’t there any women in gaming Microsoft could find who don’t come across and giggling girly fools?

• Miss Anne Thropic: What the f_ck man, I thought this was a regular XBLA game and now it’s for Kinectshit? And someone shoot the driver.

Kinect Adventures is up next, and it’s mini games essentially where you use your whole body to play. This will also take snapshots of you and you can post them to Facebook or wherever, usually when you’re at your worst, leaping like a fool and other crazy stuff. Check out the trailer below:

• Miss Anne Thropic: Adventures? If this is your idea of an “adventure” I pity you. Catch those coins by outstretching your arms, jump that WipeOut foam tube, jump in that raft and lean from side to side. If you think that’s adventurous I pity your sex life.

Next up we’ve got Ubisoft’s fitness trainer Your Shape Fitness Evolved and the demo is done by a toned Felecia Williams (Ubisoft international brand manager). She demonstrates the different areas of the game which utilizes her outline onscreen doing whatever the ‘trainer’ does. Check out the video. On a side note, when Felicia Williams also demoed it at the Ubisoft presser, she did the exact same start up with the jacket removal, so that kind of reeked a bit of real or rehearsed to stock footage?

• Miss Anne Thropic: Felicia Williams is hot. Sorry, what was this about again? Did she just say George Michael, trainer to the stars? He’s looking good these days, all that public toilet exercise is clearly paying off.

Coming this holiday season exclusively for Xbox is Harmonix new dance title Dance Central. The game features hip-hop, pop and R&B and sees you the player dancing in time on the screen to get points. A Dancer shows how it’s done, before the second uncomfortable demo begins as Kasson Crooker (Harmonics non dancing game director) shakes his thang. The video also features Phil Spencer talking up Kinect launch date and launch titles. It also features the Star Wars Kinect gameplay at around 7 minutes in. Kinect launches in the US November 4.

• Miss Anne Thropic: Kasson dancing is the funniest f_cking thing I’ve seen in quite the while. Ubisoft put a white guy with no rhythm on stage to show how anyone can dance. It’s like Napoleon Dynamite with air guitar and video games.

Next up is a Kinect compatible Forza game. Yes you can play Forza by holding your arms out in front and pretending to drive.

• Miss Anne Thropic: Look I can pretend to walk around a car and sit in a car I can never afford unless I start dealing heroin or make the grade at my upcoming Skulls initiation. Dubious.

Next up Don Mattrick returns for yet more Microsoft PR Spiel talking Xbox Live and a brand new era for Xbox. He then reveals the new Xbox 360. It’s shiny, it’s small and it’s allegedly whisper quiet. You can check it out in the video below, along with Mattrick pretending he’s Oprah. The new console will cost the same as the present gen and it’s released this week in the US (That’s THIS week).

• Miss Anne Thropic: They needed something big so they released a new Xbox 360. So now we are expected to replace our present gen with this new better slimmer gen. Thanks Microsoft, you always put the customer first.

And that was the end of the Microsoft presser. I hope you’ve liked our coverage and that it’s saved you some leg work.

This is interesting, out of tonight’s Kinect Event we are hearing there is some sweet Star Wars goodness headed to Xbox Natal… err.. we mean Xbox 360 Kinect. A preview of a Star Wars game was shown that uses Kinect. The games announcement had been previously leaked, so it wasn’t a big shocker, but it is of course all the more exciting now that a Star Wars game that uses Kinect is officially on the cards. Who doesn’t want to use a light saber and jump around like a loon?