Game Characters in the Closet – Are they or aren’t they? – Article

Ever wondered if Lara Croft and others are living the gay celebrity lifestyle of remaining in the closet for PR reasons? As she travels the world, is her partner at home posing as her personal trainer, business partner, nanny? We thought we’d look at a few of our favorite female game characters and pose the question: Are they or aren’t they?

It’s all in good fun as we look at numerous female game characters and whether they might be in the closet.

We all know movie stars do it, singers do it, the rich and famous do it. Whether we understand it or not, sometimes people love the inside of their closet.

This got us thinking about our favorite gaming females, which, statistically speaking would see around 6-8 percent of them being gay, therefore, they’re clearly in the closet. Some have beards, some fake relationships, some are loners, some sporting some tells, whatever the case we thought it would be fun to look at who might be lurking in the gaming closet….

	Lara Croft She is: Clearly deep in an ornately hewn oaken closet, Lady Croft is rarely seen with male companions and when she is, she ends up shooting them. She spent time at an all girls school and was dorm mates with hot bad ass Amanda Evert. Need we say more?
She isn’t: We can’t think of many reasons why Lara Croft couldn’t be a closeted lesbian. She breaks gender role stereotypes, rocks it on a motorbike, wears boots and has to be shoehorned into high heel shoes by her butler… nuff said. L Word Comparison Dyke: Lara Croft is the Bette Porter – Helena Peabody lovechild of gaming. She’s well dressed, upper class and knows her art.
	Jade She is: Jade is a closeted dyke because she just is. Let’s look at the facts. She loves photography, wants to make the world a better place, doesn’t yearn for breast implants and doesn’t watch morning TV. Jade also has a cool babydyke nickname ‘Shauni’ and dings the gaydar big time. She also likes a little martial arts and she was raised by a male pig.
She isn’t: It’s a fallacy that girls ‘turn into lesbians’ because of daddy issues, so the fact she was raised by a male pig has no bearing, we just thought it was funny. Jade also loves wearing lipstick.. .which while some lezzies do, would they make green their color of choice? Stereotypical Comparison Dyke: Jade is the cute babybutch dyke that was head of the journalism club in your last year of high school, first year of college, a sort of gay Veronica Mars or Chloe Sullivan.
	Alyx She is: Totally is, I mean come on! Alyx is a hacker and computer lover, she sports your ‘stereotypical’ favored dyke clothing (hoodie, jeans, belt) and she has short hair, now everyone knows ALL* lesbians have short hair (note Jade also gets additional points for this)!
She isn’t: Well… we still think she is, but Gordon Freeman and the whole Vortigaunt thing where they need to "weave their lives together" or whatever means Alyx is in that closet to stay, thanks to major social pressures and storyline expectations. Cute Butch Comparison Dyke: Alyx is the cute smart lesbian that ran the college computer lab group and on weekends was president of the Women in IT group. She was probably friends with Jade.
	Samus She is: She’s a kick ass bounty hunter like Domino, only in a cool suit and without the ‘issues’. She was allegedly referred to as male in the instruction booklet for the first game – must have got her cute dyke butchness confused. Samus is also a lone wolf type, which is what Hollywood love doing to lesbians too. Like Jade, Alyx and Lara, Samus fits the ‘lone lesbian’ stereotype because you can’t truly be a media lesbian alone because there’s no one else to be lesbian with.
She isn’t: For the same reason Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace from Battlestar Galactica isn’t… this reason: "Frak knows" and with regards to the Metroid universe and BSG universe Kevin Keene is no different to Sam Anders… word! L Word Comparison Dyke: Samus is sort of the Dana Fairbanks character. She’s physically fit and takes her job seriously, but we bet she’s a bit of a dork under that suit.
	Rayne She is: Hello!!… Kristianna Loken played her in the movie, with then main squeeze – droopy eyed bad girl – Michele Rodriguez… till Loken jumped ship unsurprisingly. She doesn’t mix well with Nazis and likes vamping it up. Her and Lara Croft would be one hot fling.
She isn’t: She was the first video game character to appear in Playboy Magazine, now you know it would have been Diva, Curve, Cherrie or LOTL if she were an out and proud lezzie. Comparison Dyke: Helena Peabody. She’s a bit of a vamp, has a penchant for revenge and looks hot in tight black leather.
	Tifa Lockheart She is: She’s just got that whole vibe, even though she has the Cloud thing happening and she wears a mini skirt that’s more like a belt. Her and Cloud are more like best friends than lovers. Second to this she runs a bar called ’7th Heaven’, which let’s face it is probably owned by someone named Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindy.
She isn’t: She’s a bit like Trinity in the Matrix.. she’s got the total vibe, but she’s always giving the googy eye to a boy, so she’s clearly no dyke. Comparison Dyke: The cute confused lesbian, bi-girl, lesbian, bi-girl you’ve probably met at some point.
	Claire Redfield She is: She’s a biker chick who spends more time worrying about her brother than any other guy in the world. She’s also played by Ali Larter in the movie Resident Evil: Extinction and she’s pretty cool. We like to think her and Zoey from Left 4 Dead live together in Canada some place, happy in a post zombie apocalypse and attending Dyke Night at their local bar.
She isn’t: She wears pink…. A lot. Comparison Dyke: Hmm tough call, how about Maggie from Better Than Chocolate, a bit prissy on the outside, but lesbian all the way on the inside, oh and she has a pervy annoying brother.
	Kiera Stokes She is: She’s a Special Forces Op that deals with paranormal creepy girls! She sports fingerless gloves and her name is Stokes for goodness sake aka Stokely! Yes any connection with Clea DuVall automatically ups the dyke pointometer. We’re fairly sure her and Jin Sun-Kwon (another F.E.A.R. Officer) have a secret cabin in the Rockies together.
She isn’t: She hangs out with a bunch of macho straight guys and appears to be ever so slightly enamored of one of them.. L Word Comparison Dyke: Stokes is probably the Tasha Williams character, it’s that whole "don’t ask don’t tell" thing because she’s in the military and works with a bunch of meatheads who think the term "gay" means "backs to the wall boys" as they all cackle like they’re 13 and brainless..
So there you have it, there’s probably more of course, but we thought you might like to add your own in the same format, why they are, why they’re not and who they’re comparable to either in The L Word or reality. We hope you’ve enjoyed this little trip back into the closet. *stereotypical dyke traits are used as a tool of amusement. We are not really suggesting ALL lesbians have short hair, wear hoodies, like boots, despise high heels and wouldn’t wear green lipstick… actually… belay that.. we’re pretty sure no lesbians would wear green lippy, unless it was for Jade cosplay… obviously. Everything else though… just for fun… seriously.

8 Responses to “Game Characters in the Closet – Are they or aren’t they? – Article”

1. Jeppe says:

   February 18, 2009 at 8:28 pm

   Fun article, I would´ve liked some percentage ratings as to how likely they are to be lesbian/bi based on your evidence. As for Lara, you should remember that in Angel of Darkness she was paired up with Kurtis Trent, something which I´ve always hated as 1) I always found it hugely refreshing with an actionhero(ine) who didn´t have the obligatory love interest forced onto her (though that is more common in Hollywood movies than in videogames) and 2) I just couldn´t see him as her type. But if Lara was to get a lover, I´d much rather see her with a woman than a man.
2. Arzachel says:

   June 17, 2010 at 9:40 pm

   One name: Bayonetta.
   She is: Raised by a group of female witches who then came to hate Lumen Sages (men!) and won the war against them. Then, she encounters Jeanne, ANOTHER Umbra Witch who only her piercing eyes can awaken lost memories, who also was her childhood best friend. Ah-hem. And we all know our childhood’s best friend was our first crush. It’s clear they’re kicking some Angel’s halo, while dancing and shooting them together.

   She isn’t: There’s a supposedly hot (loved by my mom), faggy, journalist who follows her around. Luckily, she only teases him. But we all know that she would preffer kicking ass with Jeanne, the cherry-chapstick wearing, rough, short-haired, fluffy cuffs and collar, feather loving lezz, than to be with, well, the Faggy Jopurnalist.

   Comparison: She’s the sexy, leather- I mean, hair-clad, almost extinct, immortal Umbra Witch… No comparison, baby.
   That will be all.
3. Arzachel Nightbreeze says:

   June 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm

   ALSO, She hates COCKroaches…
4. Steph says:

   April 16, 2011 at 8:23 am

   I am confused. I am not a lesbian but I always thought the word “dyke” was offensive… is it not offensive??
5. Gregory says:

   May 1, 2011 at 8:57 am

   why don’t you put Commander Keys from Halo? gods she seems to be lesbian
6. aJperson says:

   June 17, 2011 at 7:36 pm

   i think samus is dork under her suit also
7. ade says:

   August 10, 2011 at 11:40 am

   If only some of them were in the closet. A more important question is why arent we seeing more dykes in games? We are certainly seeing more in other forms of media. This throws up questions of just who runs gaming and for whom.
8. Jake says:

   August 14, 2011 at 7:30 am

   @ade
   well there are tons of gays and lesbians in Fallout New Vegas, there’s even a perk to make your character gay complete with unique dialog choices. Dragon Age also has homosex. not really a lesbian thing but Kanji in Persona 4 was gay, that game also had a transsexual party member. also Final Fantasy XIII has Fang and Vanille who are totally lovers, it isn’t even subtle. so I think it’s moving in the right direcion as far as that sort of thing goes. It’s also good for us straight guys who like to play as female characters(because frankly if I have to stare at a characters ass for forty hours I’d rather it be a womans) and don’t have to be paired up with men, not like that even bothers me but I like that developers aren’t pushing an agenda or forcing a sexuality on me.