ADULT CONTENT:The Vagina Gamerlogues are back again with another installment. The Vagina Gamerlogues were an instant hit when they first appeared on the internet way back in 2003. The original writer (now contributing to Lesbian Gamers) has given permissions for these acerbic / insightful articles–about female gaming–to be published at Lesbian Gamers. We’re pleased to say she will also be writing additional Vagina Gamerlogues with a lesbian slant especially for us.
What is it like to be a lesbian / female gamer in the world of video games? This question and others are examined and spat out in a tongue in cheek manner by our very own Miss Ann Thropic (yes writer of our article Video Gaming Tips for Lesbians).
ACT 2 – Boys Will Be Boys was originally written back in 2004 and sees Miss Ann Thropic wax non lyrical about how she’s looked upon in a more negative light than her male counterparts, all for the love of gaming. This Vagina Gamerlogue is part social commentary, part rant and should be read as though it were a spoken Alix Olsen song… you know what we mean ladies.
Boys Will Be Boys … Words girls never hear, why?.. other than the obvious gender specifics of it? Because we can’t do things when we’re women that we did when children and have a ready made and fondly spoken excuse waiting in the wings to bail us out, ladies, we’re just not that lucky, guys, you’ve got it made, you can be boys when you’re 50 and it’s alright because everyone knows ‘boys will be boys’.
Parental control …
My mother doesn’t understand my ‘lifestyle choice’ or fondness of gaming and I’ve come to the conclusion she never will, my father too gives me quizzical looks and a sort of sad smile if he happens to be with me when new games come out and I’m in town, heading for the game store with excitement. My brother is older than me and a gamer, but that’s alright, he’s a guy and ‘boys will be boys’, he spends three wage cheques on a huge projection TV for gaming and ‘boys will be boys’ and ‘it looks so nice in his flat’. I mention wanting a plasma for my Xbox and it’s the end of the world as we know it ‘honey you don’t really need one do you?’… yes mum.. I DO, I REALLY need one.
Dicks are better off …
My brother Richard (oh yes now you see why the risque subheading) tells me to ignore it, that’s easy for him to say, he doesn’t heed his own advice when I thrash him at Halo 2.. but I gleefully digress. I do ignore it to a point, I have to, if I didn’t my head would implode, or something just as graphically gruesome, but deep down it irks me that because I’m a female gamer I’m at a social disadvantage, looked on in disdain for the same hobby as my male counterparts, this my dear readers pisses me off.
Pissed but not in the tripping over kind of way …
I don’t drink, I don’t party, I don’t smoke, my fun you see lay in gaming. My wages, as well as paying my mortgage, car, staple items and savings are… yes of course, spent on gaming; but my good citizen skills mean nothing when I’m an affluent female gamer, or should that be effluent? The putrid effluence of the lack of understanding I gain for my hobby that Dick has not suffered? The non understanding of a girls need to frag, the, dare I say it… antipathy of ‘mature’ women and indeed some men towards my hobby!
Alas ‘Girls will be Girls’ does not exist for ‘girls shall be women’ and there is no turning back… get your aprons on ladies and shop for shoes because step out of that box society has made for you and you’re in a world of hurt. Husbands who berate wives for not understanding their gaming expenditure do not fret for it is YOU who are lucky and your wife cannot help this, she has been conditioned and few of us escape. Now if only Richard would marry an apron wearing shoe shopper, maybe this entire situation wouldn’t seem quite so bad after all.
Timeline Catchup for Lesbian Gamers .com
The above Vagina Gamerlogue was written some time in 2004 and in a sad state of being, not that much has changed really, other than I managed to finally get a girlfriend my mom doesn’t despise. The whole gaming hobby though, still no further forward.
Thanks to Lesbian Gamers for once more airing the dirty washing of Miss Ann Thropic.
Hope you’ve found this article of interest, despite it now being a little aged – much like myself – but with age comes wisdom, apparently.
Miss Ann Thropic