ADULT CONTENT: The Vagina Gamerlogues were an instant hit when they first appeared on the internet way back in 2003. The original writer (now contributing to Lesbian Gamers) has given permissions for these acerbic / insightful articles–about female gaming–to be published at Lesbian Gamers. We’re pleased to say she will also be writing additional Vagina Gamerlogues with a lesbian slant especially for us.
What is it like to be a lesbian / female gamer in the world of video games? This question and others are examined and spat out in a tongue in cheek manner by our very own Miss Ann Thropic (yes writer of our article Video Gaming Tips for Lesbians).
ACT 1 – Be My Bitch & Come to Daddy was originally written back in 2003 when Xbox Live was still a relatively new phenomenon. This Vagina Gamerlogue is seething due to the sheer amount of negative experiences Miss Ann Thropic had in those early games of the service.
Be My Bitch and Come To Daddy… These are two things squealed at me as I made the eternal error and chose the ‘find game’ option on Xbox Live one night, so I thought it rather relevant to include them here. These were obviously meant in an affectionate manner along with the plethora of other slurs aimed in my direction due to the crime of being a girl in the gaming universe. My driving was also called into question along with my sexual preference and of course my physical appearance.
Listen up …
I couldn’t care less for your appearance, I don’t want to know if you’re straight, gay or something in between, I don’t care if you’re male, female or something in between, Black, White, Red, or Blue. All I care about is the game and if you bright sparks that give out this sort of abuse look up ‘game’ in a little thing called a dictionary (it has a dic so should be of interest) you get "An activity providing entertainment or amusement", I assume that should go for EVERYone involved, not just these wuckfits who like to make other peoples lives hell until they need to exit the game.
The games industry has a lot to answer for, but it cannot be blamed outright for these behaviors, seemingly inherent in a small group of males on Xbox Live with the apparent inability to interact with the female of the species. You can’t have it both ways, if you want girls and women to enjoy gaming don’t treat them like crap on the odd occasion you get to speak to them and if they beat you, don’t get defensive and start bitching and blaming some external reason for the loss. Just like in the real world true women like gentlemen, sure the odd few like the lads but you’re not going to bump into these girls on Xbox Live.
Spit or Swallow …
Pride is a strange demon and it can make you do all manner of things in all arenas of life, but try and leave it well away from your Xbox. Don’t choose to spit out nasty comments one after another because some girl just owned you in front of your mates. Be a man, suck it up and swallow, you’ll gain the respect of the other players, including the female ones. I know I choose to add the gents I bump into on Live to my friends list, I certainly don’t add the buttholes.
Timeline Catchup for Lesbian Gamers .com
It’s funny, but when this was first written some time around 2003 it seemed there were more buttholes in the XBL universe. That’s not to say the butthole phenomenon is now lost to XBL–just hop into an open Halo 3 game to realize that’s not the case–but it seems.. softer somehow. Perhaps with the percentage of female gamers ramping up (now statistically around 48% allegedly) the buttholes on XBL need to be more polite to female gamers, because those mature guys on the service kinda like having the chance to play with some female gamers. Just a theory.
As a lesbian gamer it’s still not a good plan to let that cat out of the bag in an open room. As an experiment I did this a few times just to see what would happen, the results of which will appear in a new Vagina Gamerlogue presently in the works.
Thanks to Lesbian Gamers for once more airing the dirty washing of Miss Ann Thropic.
Hope you’ve found this article of interest, despite it now being a little aged – much like myself – but with age comes wisdom, apparently.
Miss Ann Thropic